Blah.

As to what I was talking about this morning... I just feel like I'm stuck inside myself. Does that make any sense? I have all this awesomeness inside me but my body just says, "Eh, I don't feel like doing that." I don't know if it's a lack of motivation or something else. It feels like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other... but not necessarily to that extreme, and not necessarily good and evil. It feels... confident and then uncertain, I think. Perhaps my self-esteem is getting to me. I'm also thinking it's this medication I'm taking for my skin. One of the warnings is that it messes with your mood, but I don't want to stop taking it because I need my skin to clear up. I'm 23 and my skin looks horrible! Ugh.

On the outside, I'm this happy, bubbly person who always has something to say and tries to look on the bright side of things, but on the inside I feel very conflicted. I know the way I'm feeling is ridiculous and unreasonable and that I have control over almost every aspect of my life, but I still feel so out of control and helpless. It's confusing!

I feel like I need a vacation from myself... a mental break.