Changes.

I feel like I've definitely fallen off the wagon in the last month or so. There have been so many changes in my life and I'm starting to feel a little out of control. I got a new job, Jeff's looking for a new job, I chopped off my hair (yes, that's a big change!)... so it's just starting to be stressful.

I need to start taking care of myself and getting myself on the right track. With this new job comes a new daily routine, so I'm hoping that it will be something I enjoy and stuff like that.

I'm just a little sad lately. I need some more sunshine, some good workouts, and no junk food. I know all of that will make me feel a hundred times better.

Whooooops!

Kinda messed up... boozed it up tonight! But it was so good. So much fun. I needed some fun.

Blah.

As to what I was talking about this morning... I just feel like I'm stuck inside myself. Does that make any sense? I have all this awesomeness inside me but my body just says, "Eh, I don't feel like doing that." I don't know if it's a lack of motivation or something else. It feels like I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other... but not necessarily to that extreme, and not necessarily good and evil. It feels... confident and then uncertain, I think. Perhaps my self-esteem is getting to me. I'm also thinking it's this medication I'm taking for my skin. One of the warnings is that it messes with your mood, but I don't want to stop taking it because I need my skin to clear up. I'm 23 and my skin looks horrible! Ugh.

On the outside, I'm this happy, bubbly person who always has something to say and tries to look on the bright side of things, but on the inside I feel very conflicted. I know the way I'm feeling is ridiculous and unreasonable and that I have control over almost every aspect of my life, but I still feel so out of control and helpless. It's confusing!

I feel like I need a vacation from myself... a mental break.

Seriously...

Today is a new day. I need to start and really be serious about myself.

More to come a little later tonight.

A quick note...

I went to the store today and they had pears! In the infinitely wise words of Charlie Sheen... Winning!

I'm back, I swear.

I've been failing at blogging! But I am back, hopefully to keep up now.

Tomorrow, I will start with the Supreme 90 Day workout and diet plan. It's basically a knock off of P90x, but I hear it's a little less intense. I'm looking forward to it. I think with that and my running, I'll be in tip-top shape for the 5k in May.

Speaking of... does anyone want to do the 5k in May with me? It's in Naperville, over at NVHS. I'm really looking forward to that, too.

I really wish it was pear season. I want a juicy pear.

Well then.

It's been awhile since I've had much to say. Haven't really had a chance to exercise... been feeling rotten for about a week. Looks like I have a sinus infection... let me tell you, I feel awesome. I'm hoping that the antibiotics I was given today will help and I'll start to feel better soon.

In better news, Jeff and I went to Milwaukee this weekend. It was a lot of fun! We saw Cheap Trick, went to the casino, and did some touristy stuff. It was a bit of a bummer that I couldn't smell or taste anything but I had fun anyway. I love spending time with him. We ate a lot of bad food and drank quite a bit, so that was pretty bad on my part. I need to get back on track this week, at least with my food. I don't think I'll be working out until next week when I stop coughing.

Not much else to say for now.