Off mood.

I haven't been sleeping well and I think it's getting to me. I mean, I know I'm frustrated about not having a job but I think that's affecting everything. And I'm mega bored. And I'm pretty sure Jeff is tired of me. I can tell he just wants to have some time to himself but there is nowhere for me to go. Perhaps I'll have to figure something out.

On a good note, I've been pretty good and I'm proud of myself. Just need to keep this up.

Competition?

I've been thinking and I've realized (alright, accepted) that I am an extremely competitive person. I'm not so much competitive with myself as I am with other people. If I can find some way to compete with other to keep myself in check I might be able to stick with it. That sounds awful, I know. My well-being should be something that I want regardless but I am having the HARDEST time getting motivated and I don't know why.

I was SO GOOD with my eating yesterday and I'm off to an excellent start again today. You can't see it, but I'm giving myself a pat on the back.

What upppp.

Apple Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal

I posted something on Facebook about having a healthy new recipe that I came up with. It's delicious, if I do say so myself. It's nothing fancy but is still awesome.



Apple Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal

1 3/4 cup coconut milk
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup pumpkin puree
2 packets stevia
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 medium apple, peeled/cored/chopped
1 cup quick-cooking oats

Combine all ingredients except for the apple and oats in a sauce pan, bring to a boil. Once boiling, add the apples and the oats and cook on medium for 5 minutes, or until thickened.

SIMPLE!

I have a few notes/suggestions:
-You can use any sort of milk (or even water) that you would like. I used coconut milk because I had it, and I thought it worked well. You can also use more liquid if you'd like. I like my oatmeal a little creamier, so I added almost 2 cups.
-For the stevia, I added 2 packets because I didn't need my oatmeal too sweet. That is all up to you.
-For the apple, use something firm and with a strong flavor, like a Granny Smith. I used a Gala, and since they are soft and mild, it took on the flavor of everything else and wasn't really standing out on it's own.

If you follow the original Weight Watchers plan, the entire recipe comes out to 10 points. That's it! I split it up into 4 servings, because that was more than enough for me, but a serving according to the quick-cooking oats package is 1/2 cup dry. That would be half the recipe. Once made, that's a LOT of oatmeal!

With all of this free time, I am trying to come up with some healthier recipes. I will post the ones that make the cut... aka the ones that don't suck so bad that I have to throw it away.

So here you go... eat away!

Well then...

I can say that I have completely failed at blogging. So much has gone on in the months since I started... Jeff moved to Wisconsin, I worked at my new job and hated it, and after 9 months of working there I left and moved to Wisconsin myself.

So now... I am here and unemployed. It's somewhat awful to hear myself say that. It has only been 3 weeks, almost 4. I'm looking for jobs but there are only so many positions available in the area. There are about 70,000 people in this city, with a total of 135,000 in the entire metropolitan area. Not that many people, but not that many open jobs. We'll see what happens.

With all of this free time, I need to take control and get happy again. The job I had just sucked the happiness right out of me. I was full of anxiety and stress. Now that I don't have to deal with that, I have to figure out why I'm holding myself back from getting to where I want and need to be. I have to figure out why I'm making excuses and why I'm sabotaging myself. If anyone wants to talk with me and see if we can figure this out together, I would gladly make time for that conversation. I want to be healthy and happy. That is all I really want.

Typical...

So what happens once I take some initiative and sign up at the gym? I get a cold. Let me tell you, I feel FABULOUS. I'm stuffed up and exhausted and just all around blah. I bought some DayQuil and chicken noodle soup tonight so hopefully those will make me feel better.

In better news... I did alright with my eating the last few days. I've been trying to count my WW points and trying to remember to write them down. My new favorite meal/snack is oatmeal. I found some sugar-free versions that aren't overly sweet and they're delicious, but I'm a little disappointed in the lack of variety. After reading quite a few of Chocolate-Covered Katie's posts, I decided to take matters into my own hands. My concoction isn't nearly as unprocessed and flavorful as her recipes are, but I figured it was a start! So here's my attempt at something delicious:

Banana Bread Oatmeal

1 packet of plain instant oatmeal
1 medium banana, diced
1 oz walnuts, chopped
1 packet Splenda

Prepare the instant oatmeal as directed on the package (or as you like it prepared... I always add a little more water than it asks for) and toss in the diced bananas as the oatmeal is absorbing the water. Once the water is mostly absorbed, toss in your diced walnuts. Ta-da! Just like banana bread. Since walnuts aren't naturally sweet like pecans (which I LOVE) I added a little Splenda for sweetness. That part is entirely optional.

So there you go... my foray into recipe making. I have some other delicious recipes, but none of which are healthyish. Perhaps I'll come up with some more.

It's a start.

I officially joined the gym at the rec center today. It's only for 3 months but I want to see if it's something I can keep up with before I commit to anything longer. I also tried to be good about my eating today. I did pretty well until I got home... I was bored and tired so I snacked. I didn't have anything super bad but still. I need to work on the self control and work on keeping myself busy.

I need a goal.

Accountability

My main purpose for this blog is to keep myself accountable. Hopefully this will work.

I've really been trying to eat healthy foods and to be more active. I know I feel better when I stick with both of them but I have the worst self motivation. When I do stick to my healthy eating, I find that Weight Watchers really works... But like I said, sticking to it is my problem. I have a hard time saying no to my favorite foods.

I was able to be really good about it for a few months and I saw a huge difference in my body. At that point in my life, I had something big motivating me. I feel like I need something big to motivate me again, but I really don't know what to use.

Thoughts? Ideas?